Help people think better - Don't tell them what to do. 

~ David Rock

I recently read a book that exploded my thinking cap. 

It's a must share. 

Well that is what happened to me with the book Quiet Leader by David Rock. 

Let me start by saying... I hate being told what to do. 

I actually get into a pissy pant party if I get told what to do.

Just ask my parents, it started at a young age. 

The tag on this book... Help people think better - Don't tell them what to do, made me jump for joy! 

Unless a runaway bus is coming down the road directly toward me and I am on the crosswalk, then hell yes tell me to MOVE! 

But there is a larger picture.

I notice how everyone is googlfied! (My new word)

What is googlfied? 

My definition: a problem, idea or question comes to someones mind, and someone will google it to find the answer  instead of staying within their creative thinking to come up with something new or find they had the answers all along. 

Also known as a quick fix. 

Now this is not a ba...

I teach people how to treat me by what I allow.

- Steve Covey

When I first was introduced to the the concept of appreciation languages, I must say, I was a bit skeptical.

Everyone has something that helps with that one thing in which to fix everything. 

Right? 

There is this method, and that code, oh but try this way and that way. 

After you learn these tools, then you are to remember, your animal meaning or color meaning. 

Damn... I must be red bull, cause now I am mad that I just spent the weekend learning the formula and now I forgot. 

At the time, I was going through my own personal self-growth, and always looking for a good audio-book. 

I was traveling to and from Toronto a ton with CUPW (Canadian Union of Postal Workers), as I was union president with negotiations in the very near future.

During one visit, I took advantage of my time in Ontario and headed to Ottawa, where my cousin lives with her family. 

When Marysia introduced and explained to me  the The 5 Love L...

There is an easy distinction between loving someone else and loving ourselves. 

The hard truth is, one is easier than the other to achieve. 

I bet not one person reading this decided loving ourselves was easier. 

Why is loving ourselves so hard? 

Self- love definition: regard for one's own well-being and happiness. 

Sounds pretty simple... look after your well-being, and be happy. 

But for most, it is the hardest thing to achieve.

We look for happiness everywhere!

In a mate!

In things!

In achievements!

Very rarely do we look inside! 

That inside is ourselves! 

And the key to unlock it all. 

Day in and day out there are traps put out daily to challenge our thinking, our emotions, and even our beliefs to what is real or not. 

You spill coffee on your last clean shirt! (Frustration) 

We head into a traffic jam and end up late for work. (Stress)

At work, a co-worker walked past you and glares without saying a word. (Concerned)

Realizing you forgot your lunch with too much work to do to...

Every single thing we do in our life comes with our own personal payoffs. 

Do you know what that is?

Have you ever thought of it?

Well, in 2005, I was kicking back watching one of Dr. Phil's crazy episodes. I honestly have no idea what it was on.

What I do remember, was a defining moment to a simple question.

I can probably assume it was an episode on a crazy couple who can't seem to get along and wondering if it was time to leave. 

When Dr. Phil asked the wife, "What is your payoff for your behavior?"

It not only stopped the girl to really truly think what she was getting in return to behave the way she was, it changed me instantly. 

Lets look at a couple scenarios: 

1. You are having an argument with your boss. You are right pissed off for the way he spoke to you in front of everyone. 

You start telling everyone what happened, from your perspective. Anyone who listens is getting pelted with the story. You continue to tell the co-workers not even in your department.

What is your Payoff?

A. Y...

A police officer once told me...

"There are 3 sides to every story. 

There is your side

There is their side

An somewhere in the middle, there is the truth"

That day, my life changed as to how I told stories and how I received stories . 

What happens when we tell a story? 

We attach emotion to the story to make it more enjoyable and believable to the person listening. 

Everyone tells their perspective of their interaction with the circumstance they are speaking of. 

And sometimes the story teller creates new events that take place to spice up the truth to make it more exciting. 

When in Grade 1, did you play telephone? 

Back when I was in grade 1, cell phones and cordless phones were non existent.

A teacher encouraging the class to play a game called telephone in this day and age would be way to distracting. 

But not back in 1981! 

The class would sit in a circle on the reading rug. 

The teacher would pick one student and pull them aside. 

She would whisper into their ear a story, only o...

Our mindset is our most important asset, especially when we figure out how to create a healthy mindset. The question is, how do we create a healthy mindset. 

Are you the kind of person who reacts first, and says..."Ohhhh crap... I should not have done that, I should not have said that". 

I was a 'screen door open' kind of girl...(sometimes still am). Things that came out of my mouth at times, was not always my proudest moment. 

I didn't think twice about saying what was on my mind, and in moments, at others expense. Definitely not who I wanted to be. But, I didn't know how to change. I didn't know how to stop the reactions to my thoughts or feeling that were boiling inside of me.

I just knew there was something more. I could feel it, no matter what I did, I knew I had to figure out my emotions.

I fell upon some amazing teachers in my time of need. Oprah being one of them. Just little tidbits of info that I would try out here and there. My favorite was turning everything into...

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