Help people think better - Don't tell them what to do. 

~ David Rock

I recently read a book that exploded my thinking cap. 

It's a must share. 

Well that is what happened to me with the book Quiet Leader by David Rock. 

Let me start by saying... I hate being told what to do. 

I actually get into a pissy pant party if I get told what to do.

Just ask my parents, it started at a young age. 

The tag on this book... Help people think better - Don't tell them what to do, made me jump for joy! 

Unless a runaway bus is coming down the road directly toward me and I am on the crosswalk, then hell yes tell me to MOVE! 

But there is a larger picture.

I notice how everyone is googlfied! (My new word)

What is googlfied? 

My definition: a problem, idea or question comes to someones mind, and someone will google it to find the answer  instead of staying within their creative thinking to come up with something new or find they had the answers all along. 

Also known as a quick fix. 

Now this is not a ba...

 Whoever gossips to you, will gossip about you.

-Phillip Sydney

Have you ever been in a conversation that started with, "OMG have your heard that..." 

RUN! 

I have this one acquaintance who starts every starting sentence with, "you know I don't gossip right, but I just want to let you know..." 

Everyone at some point in their lives have been the creator of the rumor mill, joined in the rumor mill, been an ear for the rumor mill, or has been the topic of the rumor mill. 

Let's look at these and dissect the perspective of the giver and the receiver to understand. 

WHAT? 

Yes, I want you to understand why people gossip, why you listen, or why you start it. 

The question to ask is simple...

WHAT IS THE PAYOFF?

So let's look at the different types of Rumor Mills...

Creator of the rumor mill.

There are 2 kinds of creators. 

One that tells their perspective as the truth, and those who just create because they can. 

People will believe their own thoughts as true about you even if it is the farthest thi...

I teach people how to treat me by what I allow.

- Steve Covey

When I first was introduced to the the concept of appreciation languages, I must say, I was a bit skeptical.

Everyone has something that helps with that one thing in which to fix everything. 

Right? 

There is this method, and that code, oh but try this way and that way. 

After you learn these tools, then you are to remember, your animal meaning or color meaning. 

Damn... I must be red bull, cause now I am mad that I just spent the weekend learning the formula and now I forgot. 

At the time, I was going through my own personal self-growth, and always looking for a good audio-book. 

I was traveling to and from Toronto a ton with CUPW (Canadian Union of Postal Workers), as I was union president with negotiations in the very near future.

During one visit, I took advantage of my time in Ontario and headed to Ottawa, where my cousin lives with her family. 

When Marysia introduced and explained to me  the The 5 Love L...

"Our minds influence the key activity of the brain, which then influences everything; perception, cognition, thoughts and feelings, personal relationships; they're all a projection of you."

Deepak Chopra
 

Have you ever been at a social gathering with that one person who seems to be able to have everyone flocks to and admires? 

You wonder to yourself, what the hell is she doing that makes her so desirable?

Influence!

Nothing less, nothing more. 

Not everyone is born with the gift of influence.

Yes it can come naturally to some. 

And others... well they just try and try and try...

Which ends up looking like an ass kisser. 

It can be learned! 

So what is the magic?

What makes someone who naturally attracts people a great influence?

3 strategies... yes, you can start with 3! 

But first, 

I want to make something VERY clear before we carry on. 

Influencing others is NOT the same as MANIPULATION! 

There is a HUGE difference between influence and manipulation. 

When I was teaching one of m...

 Do you journal?

If you do, then you know the power behind it. 

If you don't...

All the emotions in your world get stuck in your mind, body and soul. 

I believe it is the most powerful of all releases to understanding yourself. 

In my world, it is the way I keep my head from spinning out of control. 

Journaling is one of the most powerful tools that I could offer you.

Why?

Because when you release your thoughts to paper.

You release your truths to a visual.

What was maybe stuck in thought can be seen and dealt with.  

When a question is asked to you first, you would likely ponder or linger on that thought of what was asked.

Second guessing your thinking and changing the thought to mostly what you think others want to hear or even worse, what you want to hear.

It is important for you to have a journal that you love to look at and to hold.

It certainly does not have to be expensive by any means, but you must feel good when you are using it.

I purchased a book before that was purple and pink poke-a-dots...

Do you blame others for your unhappiness?

Do you blame others for results in your life?

What if I tell you, it has nothing to do with anyone else?

It has everything to do with you! 

Are you going to have a crappy day and blame me because I told you the truth?

Would you buy a house and let someone rent it for free? 

Well, this is exactly what you are doing when you put blame on others for results you are getting in your life. 

Let me explain.

When you say to someone, "You hurt my feelings when you did that." 

You are telling yourself, I am going to manipulate the situation by making them see my hurt so they change who they are. 

AND

The only way I can be happy is if they change their behavior.

Ummmm...

Then why are you so unhappy?

How easy is it for you to make changes within yourself on a daily basis?

Yet you expect everyone to change around you to meet your needs to become the happiest person around. 

As soon as someones actions, beliefs or emotions do not match what you do, feel or think, the h...

A police officer once told me...

"There are 3 sides to every story. 

There is your side

There is their side

An somewhere in the middle, there is the truth"

That day, my life changed as to how I told stories and how I received stories . 

What happens when we tell a story? 

We attach emotion to the story to make it more enjoyable and believable to the person listening. 

Everyone tells their perspective of their interaction with the circumstance they are speaking of. 

And sometimes the story teller creates new events that take place to spice up the truth to make it more exciting. 

When in Grade 1, did you play telephone? 

Back when I was in grade 1, cell phones and cordless phones were non existent.

A teacher encouraging the class to play a game called telephone in this day and age would be way to distracting. 

But not back in 1981! 

The class would sit in a circle on the reading rug. 

The teacher would pick one student and pull them aside. 

She would whisper into their ear a story, only o...

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