Have you ever said to your kids, if this doesn't kill you, I will?

I said this last night... 

So Gary (my other half) and I are just about to watch a movie on a Friday night. 

The phone rings...

It's my 18 year old son, instantly, from his shaky voice, I knew something was wrong.

 "Mom, there was a roll over accident... can you come get us, Bails is hurt." {His buddy} (The grads were camping at a spot 10 minutes from us.)

Ummm "What, where, who was there, OMG, ummm ok... I'm on my way... ummm call an ambulance too."

Ok... if this was a movie, I would put the cheesy freeze frame in and do some explaining. 

As a mom, that call is never good. The emotions running through my body were crippling. 

In that moment, I managed to do 8 small circles while standing in one spot, like a dog about to lay down.

I somehow thought to grab my car keys even though we were going in Gary's truck. 

Even fashion was not an issue as I ran from the house in what was called my "what were you thinking" wardr...

Did you believe in Santa Claus?

Yeah, so did I.

I remember hearing what sounded like wrapping paper crinkling... 

I pretended I had to use the washroom. 

As I peeked around the corner, it was MOM! 


What I found was devastating. My instant belief of what I always knew to be true was ripped out. 

The emotions started to flood me.

The thoughts of sitting on Santa's knee... who the hell was that then?

I had questions!

I wanted answers! 

This Santa scenario now happens in our lives disguised as getting fired, a spouse cheating on you, a death in the family, a breakup, name calling, or any other outside event that you encounter. 

Each fact, circumstance or outside source is the only thing we can not control.

What we THINK of the fact or circumstance (Santa or  being fired etc) is causing us the discomfort. 

Do you believe me? 

As adults, we are taught, the meaning of belief is accepting that something as true and feeling sure of the truth of it.

Ok, that's nice, but "so wha...

 I was sitting here reflecting on motherhood. 

I am a mom, I have a mom, she has a mom, and my gran had a mom. I could go on forever. 

We take this day to appreciate mothers and to give thanks to all moms that sacrificed their figures, gave up their careers or dreams to make us into the women we are today. 

What if your thoughts are not ones of great memories? 

Maybe memories of physical or mental abuse. Maybe memories of always fighting. Maybe memories of something completely different but you are in pain about. 

What if today, for you, feels like a reminder to all of it. 

What if... 

This is how I lived my Mother's Day for years. 

Pretending to be proud of the mother I was dealt. 

Wanting a mom which I looked up to and aspired to be. 

That was my truth! 

I would make up excuses why I could not come over to spend the day. 

I would fight with my feelings of guilt for thinking this way. 

But head over anyways, with great intentions and leave more angry than one could imagine. 

Then create n...

Is it possible that we are so conditioned to our daily lives that we opt in to the idea that we have no control at all?

 Emotions are not attached to you. 

What you think about, creates the feeling you are feeling. 

The emotion you are feeling then continues the thought you are thinking. 

Slightly unfair circular pattern to put yourself in. 

We end up staying in the same circumstances of feeling stuck, hating our jobs, wanting more, because we have been addicted to the emotional state they produce and our own brain causes chemicals, yes chemicals that arouse the state of being. 

This is why many of us stay in situations that make us unhappy, feeling as if we have no choice but to suffer. 

Choosing to stay stuck in this circular patterned mindset and attitude all because a portion of our brain has been hardwired by our repeated thoughts and reactions. 

So again, every thought produces a chemical that is matched by a feeling in your body. 

Called the state of being. 

So thinking you are not g...

UGH! What a thought just thinking about thinking about my thoughts. 

Is this what goes through your mind when you read this?

Well, lets get real here together. 

Your thoughts are what has allowed you to get the results you are getting today! 

Reality is real. 

So... how did that happen? 

Life happened, and if you are here reading this, it means something inside of you is stirring, awakening and egging you on to change and be who you truly are meant to be. 

I can look back and see the choices I made in my life and know that was a defining moment in my path.

So can you. 

So many people focus on the pain the past causes. 

Ok... I can respect that... 

But here is what I am going to offer you, when you look at your past. 

Nothing from your past can be in your present or future unless you allow it. 

Which means dissecting your thoughts to understand the feeling it brings means you can choose to change the way you think about it to get the feeling you want today. 

Using The D.E.B.A.R. Method will help you...

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