Leadership Performance Coach
You and Me
Let's face it, sometimes life is just a whirlwind.
I can't take the time to smell the roses because I didn't have time to fricken plant the damn rose garden!
Life if going to happen all around us everyday, whether we like it or not.
That is the perfect guarantee in life.
What is not the guarantee is how much of that will effect us...
or is it?
Something may happen around us, but our thinking of beliefs, emotions and actions are the reason for our results in life.
You must give yourself the responsibility to make time for your thinking if you want to stay in the game.
Yes! You have to make time to think!
But only if it is thinking for a change!
Not thinking to dwell!
Understanding the power of your thinking will create the results you want in any area of your life.
You might be saying, that's fine and dandy miss smiles, but I have too much on my plate to even think about thinking.
Well all I have to say to that is...
How's that working for ya?
Everyday, people make ex...
Do you journal?
If you do, then you know the power behind it.
If you don't...
All the emotions in your world get stuck in your mind, body and soul.
I believe it is the most powerful of all releases to understanding yourself.
In my world, it is the way I keep my head from spinning out of control.
Journaling is one of the most powerful tools that I could offer you.
Because when you release your thoughts to paper.
You release your truths to a visual.
What was maybe stuck in thought can be seen and dealt with.
When a question is asked to you first, you would likely ponder or linger on that thought of what was asked.
Second guessing your thinking and changing the thought to mostly what you think others want to hear or even worse, what you want to hear.
It is important for you to have a journal that you love to look at and to hold.
It certainly does not have to be expensive by any means, but you must feel good when you are using it.
I purchased a book before that was purple and pink poke-a-dots...
Have you ever moved from one house to another and found yourself driving to your old house after a long day at work?
This has happened to the best of us.
We do this if we change the kitchen cupboards around.
We do this if we change departments or offices at work.
Force of habit?
Yes, but here is why...
Our brains from a very young age are programmed by absolutely everything we do in life.
We are born a clean slate.
We have the innocent brain just waiting to soak up the information given to us.
The first time we see a spider... we reach out to explore, mom screams with horror.
Our brain registers spiders as the scariest thing in our lives at that moment... until the snake appears as we crawl on the grass by the garden, then that becomes the scariest.
Our experiences compound in our brains forming patterns which create our subconscious mind.
Moving through life seeing spiders and screaming as if the spider has the largest knife, like Crocodile Dundee, keeping us stuck in fear of a memory tha...
Every single thing we do in our life comes with our own personal payoffs.
Do you know what that is?
Have you ever thought of it?
Well, in 2005, I was kicking back watching one of Dr. Phil's crazy episodes. I honestly have no idea what it was on.
What I do remember, was a defining moment to a simple question.
I can probably assume it was an episode on a crazy couple who can't seem to get along and wondering if it was time to leave.
When Dr. Phil asked the wife, "What is your payoff for your behavior?"
It not only stopped the girl to really truly think what she was getting in return to behave the way she was, it changed me instantly.
Lets look at a couple scenarios:
1. You are having an argument with your boss. You are right pissed off for the way he spoke to you in front of everyone.
You start telling everyone what happened, from your perspective. Anyone who listens is getting pelted with the story. You continue to tell the co-workers not even in your department.
What is your Payoff?
Do you blame others for your unhappiness?
Do you blame others for results in your life?
What if I tell you, it has nothing to do with anyone else?
It has everything to do with you!
Are you going to have a crappy day and blame me because I told you the truth?
Would you buy a house and let someone rent it for free?
Well, this is exactly what you are doing when you put blame on others for results you are getting in your life.
Let me explain.
When you say to someone, "You hurt my feelings when you did that."
You are telling yourself, I am going to manipulate the situation by making them see my hurt so they change who they are.
The only way I can be happy is if they change their behavior.
Then why are you so unhappy?
How easy is it for you to make changes within yourself on a daily basis?
Yet you expect everyone to change around you to meet your needs to become the happiest person around.
As soon as someones actions, beliefs or emotions do not match what you do, feel or think, the h...
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