"Once you learn how to be happy, you won't tolerate being around people who make you feel anything less."
If you knew me before I diversified 8 years ago, I believe I would appear different today. In a good way.
Growing up, going to school and even early adult years... attention seeking is what I did.
Sometimes subconsciously, other times 110% "Look at ME"!!
At the times it was the "Look at ME" moment , I attracted the wrong people or events into my life.
What was I searching for? Happiness.
Happy on the outside, crying on the inside.
Do you feel that way? Do you understand that feeling?
I wanting to be noticed for who I was. Yet, still didn't understand it myself.
I wanted to make people laugh, like me, include me. Which they did, yet still crying inside.
I made myself available to be the ear of gossip.
I made myself available to be the fun party girl.
I made myself available to be used.
All of the above did not make me feel good. It made me cry inside.
I just wanted to be seen for who I was, but here is the kicker... I didn't know myself. So I melded all others ways into what or who I thought others wanted me to be.
It was a slow process of change, and if you are reading this and understanding the "gutted feeling" of not sure who you are, then you are on the change path, and might feel stuck.
No need to worry, Here are some tips as to how I slowly changed.
"You teach people how to treat you."
1. Keep a mental note of how you feel around others.
Most of the time your own self will give you strong signs to your values, beliefs and feelings. If you are uncomfortable with a situation, most likely there is an underlying concern. Almost guaranteed you are already aware of it, you have just buried it and ignored it. It is ok to stand alone crying inside, than having to pretend to smile inside. Give permission to yourself to release those around you who you know need to be released.
2. Listen to how you speak about others with others.
Gossip is only for spreading the great things people do in the world. If you have friends who come to you and all they speak about is others in a negative way, most likely they speak of you in that way too. If you allow it, then soon you are to follow. If you speak ill of others, it mirrors something underlying within you. When you find yourself speaking negatively check your feeling inside, and change the subject or change it to a positive about the person. Showing your friend, you will not speak ill of others. Your thoughts are a creation of your feelings, and your feelings are a creation of your thoughts. But here is the most powerful part... you can control your thinking and restart a new way of thinking.
3. How do you feel when you are alone.
Are you anxious when you are alone? Do you feel sad? This was the by far the hardest part for me to overcome. My thoughts were so over the top of chatter. If this is you... journal your thoughts. Journal until your mind is quiet. Releasing your thoughts frees your mind, even for the moment. It leave the sadness on paper. I suggest going as far as re-writing the story for yourself. Just this exercise alone fills the inside with a smile.
Just these 3 simple steps will change the way you look at life. Not by doing them once, but by practicing and sampling how you want to be treated.
Others have no idea how you want to be treated unless you show them.
Be the best version of yourself.
Are there other ways that helped you Smile Inside?
Leave a comment below to share with others and make a difference.
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