I was sitting here reflecting on motherhood.
I am a mom, I have a mom, she has a mom, and my gran had a mom. I could go on forever.
We take this day to appreciate mothers and to give thanks to all moms that sacrificed their figures, gave up their careers or dreams to make us into the women we are today.
What if your thoughts are not ones of great memories?
Maybe memories of physical or mental abuse. Maybe memories of always fighting. Maybe memories of something completely different but you are in pain about.
What if today, for you, feels like a reminder to all of it.
This is how I lived my Mother's Day for years.
Pretending to be proud of the mother I was dealt.
Wanting a mom which I looked up to and aspired to be.
That was my truth!
I would make up excuses why I could not come over to spend the day.
I would fight with my feelings of guilt for thinking this way.
But head over anyways, with great intentions and leave more angry than one could imagine.
Then create new thoughts of why I am never going there again!
I was stopped at a screeching halt in my thinking....
I read a book called "You Can Heal Your Life" by Louise Hay
My world changed from one defining paragraph in that book and 2 Questions... This was it...
"Blame is one of the surest ways to stay in a problem. In blaming another, we give away our power. Understanding enables us to rise above the issue and take control of our future.
The past cannot be changed. The future is shaped by our current thinking. It is imperative for our freedom to understand that our parents were doing the best they could with the understanding awareness, and knowledge they had. Whenever we blame someone else, we are not taking responsibility for ourselves.
Those people who did all those terrible things to us were just as frightened and scared as you are. They felt just the same helplessness as you do. The only things they could possibly teach you are what they had been taught."
The chapter goes on asking really deep questions.
1. How much do you know about your parents childhood before the age of 10?
2. What kind of childhood would create an adult like that?
This stopped me in my tracks.
I had allowed my thoughts to stay in the past which was creating my negative actions towards my mom.
My mom comes from parents of war in Poland. Their parents were in the war as well.
So I couldn't imagine, I did ask a time or two what her childhood was like. My mom would bring it up from time to time, to compare and show me life is NOT as hard as I made it out to be when I didn't want to do something.
I was not an easy kid. I didn't like to be told what to do.
I could see the pain in my mom's eyes speaking of it.
Now thinking back, I think of Louise Hay's paragraph and think about my moms mom and her mom. What the hell did they go through.
I will never know, even if they were to explain it, I could never imagine what they felt. It was their experience.
Today, I know my daughter went through the best I knew how to be a mom.
One day she will share the best of what she knows.
Here's where I am today...
Nothing from my past is worth bringing to the present or future unless it brings me joy.
Which includes all the great things my mom has taught me.
Some of my favorites are:
How to be funny.
How to love the man of your dreams.
How to fold towels to fit in the cupboard.
How to cook, bake, and clean.
She introduced me to Tony Robins at age 10 via cassette tapes. (Started my mindset)
She taught me a lot can be fixed in the moment with a hug. (When you can speak the words)
And to me that's enough.
Because I know she did the best of what she knew how. The best of loving all 3 of us wild and headstrong kids.
Because of what she was taught, how she was raised, from the best of what my grandparents knew, which they learned from their parents.
The best part is this...
We are all here because our mothers choice to bring us into this world.
To give us the best chance at life as they knew how to give.
So here is to my Mom.
Thank you for raising me the best you knew how! I am sure I was not easy!
P.S. Nothing from out past can bring us pain in our present, unless we allow our thoughts to react with emotion, belief and action.