Did you believe in Santa Claus?
Yeah, so did I.
I remember hearing what sounded like wrapping paper crinkling...
I pretended I had to use the washroom.
As I peeked around the corner, it was MOM!
What I found was devastating. My instant belief of what I always knew to be true was ripped out.
The emotions started to flood me.
The thoughts of sitting on Santa's knee... who the hell was that then?
I had questions!
I wanted answers!
This Santa scenario now happens in our lives disguised as getting fired, a spouse cheating on you, a death in the family, a breakup, name calling, or any other outside event that you encounter.
Each fact, circumstance or outside source is the only thing we can not control.
What we THINK of the fact or circumstance (Santa or being fired etc) is causing us the discomfort.
Do you believe me?
As adults, we are taught, the meaning of belief is accepting that something as true and feeling sure of the truth of it.
Ok, that's nice, but "so what" you might say,
Your belief is triggered directly from a thought you think and choose to believe or not believe.
If you are to look at the definition of a thought; it is an idea or an opinion produced by thinking or occurring suddenly in the mind.
Nothing, and let me repeat this, nothing, happens, in any part of your life, without a thought.
Let's use the scenario of a spouse who cheats on you.
You might believe your relationship is concrete and you both have the respect of each other and commitment to each other.
When you find out your other half has been unfaithful, your thoughts instantly start working on overdrive and may sound like this:
How could he do this to me?
What did I do to deserve this?
That's not true.
We have a commitment to each other.
I am sure the thoughts do not stop.
You are in control of your thought, then you accept or decline the belief, then you accept and feel the feeling.
So the feelings start, hurt, anger, sadness, and rage. The list goes on.
You have a thought, you then have a feeling and you then have the choice of belief.
If you think a thought which gives you a negative feeling, the belief becomes stronger.
As Dr. Joe Dispenza says (Doctor of Neuroscience), the body becomes addicted to anger or any emotion in the same way that it would get addicted to drugs.
At first you only need a little of the emotion/drug in order to feel it; then your body becomes desensitized.
Leaving you wanting more and more of it just to feel the same feeling again.
Trying to change your emotional pattern is like going through withdrawal.
The science of this simplified, if you are angry about your spouse cheating, your thoughts are then amplified with the released chemicals which keep you in a state of addiction to hate, rage and sadness.
When you feel those thoughts of rage, hate or sadness, it makes you THINK of your spouse out of habit and the cycle is creating your pattern.
Is possible that we are so conditioned or addicted to our daily lives, the way we create our lives, that we buy the idea that we have no control at all?
Just because we have a thought, does not mean we have to believe it as true.
If you continuously think and feel without being aware of how you are thinking and feeling, you blank out, like a someone who just got their hit of meth, days become months and months become years.
These patterns of thinking become hardwired in your brain and become the numbness of your being.
If thoughts are the vocabulary of your mind, and emotions are the vocabulary of your body, then you have to write a new story.
It takes awareness and effort to break the habits of thinking a process that has become unconscious.
First, step out of your routine so you can look at what you are saying to yourself. I call this the Dissection Process.
Second, you need to observe the thoughts without responding, so that they no longer damage your feelings which create your habitual behaviors.
This process is teaching yourself to separate the programs which you are addicted to and create the new way of thinking which allows you to move forward in your thinking.
If you use the D.E.B.A.R. Method to understand what you are thinking, just the awareness of your patterns will create the emotion wanting to change.
Why stay stuck?
The only thing holding you back is your thinking.
Think for a change and change your thinking.
See You On the Inside...