I teach people how to treat me by what I allow.
- Steve Covey
When I first was introduced to the the concept of appreciation languages, I must say, I was a bit skeptical.
Everyone has something that helps with that one thing in which to fix everything.
There is this method, and that code, oh but try this way and that way.
After you learn these tools, then you are to remember, your animal meaning or color meaning.
Damn... I must be red bull, cause now I am mad that I just spent the weekend learning the formula and now I forgot.
At the time, I was going through my own personal self-growth, and always looking for a good audio-book.
I was traveling to and from Toronto a ton with CUPW (Canadian Union of Postal Workers), as I was union president with negotiations in the very near future.
During one visit, I took advantage of my time in Ontario and headed to Ottawa, where my cousin lives with her family.
When Marysia introduced and explained to me the The 5 Love Languages, by Dr Gary Chapman.
I was excited to learn.
It was simple.
Once I listened to this book, I was telling everyone.
It was that good.
We can narrow it down to the timing in my life as it was exactly what I wanted to hear or needed to hear to move forward in my world.
But today, I am still saying it is magical.
A little inside note ... if I really like a book, I search for other books that author has published.
In doing this weird little quirk of book searching...
I found The 5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace by Dr. Gary Chapman and Dr. Paul White.
I felt like I has struck gold in knowledge.
Let's back up a bit, just so I can build the story up.
Remember, at this time in my life, I was union president of our local with Canada Post.
Have you heard the saying "Going Postal".
It's fricken REAL!
There are some really angry postal workers and even more so in the positions of activists within the union.
I was NOT one of them, but had a mission to figure out how to change the working environment.
Are you getting the picture how powerful this book was to me!
I found in my search of books a course on how to become a facilitator in the languages... BOOM!
This was it.
With only 2 other in Canada certified, I went online and started my journey.
So, are you intrigued?
What are the 5 Languages of Appreciation?
Before I give them to you, I want to explain this...
When I was a rookie teaching this program, I was excited to teach people how to understand their appreciation language, but there was one crucial thing I missed the mark on.
People started to expect others to appreciate them.
Let me just remind you, this is for you to learn your primary language as well as your least valued language to understand yourself, to give appreciation to others.
Once you change your behavior towards others you then and only then will you influence others behavior towards you.
Its that simple.
So, here are some basic tips.
If you hear others saying or doing any of these 5 languages below, it could be their appreciation language.
AND, I suggest you utilize them right away.
The 5 Languages of Appreciation
If someone is always complimenting you on your style of clothing, your new hair cut, or notices the little changes you do to yourself,
If someone writes a letter/email or verbally says thank you with meaning,
If someone says something great about a person behind their back and hope the message gets to them, (The only time one should speak behind someone's back.),
If someone complains others did not say thank you, or compliment them on their job, or new look,
This person most likely has Affirmation as their primary language of appreciation .
If someone is always calling you on the telephone (old school),
If someone is frequently asking you to join them for walks, meals or activities,
If you know that one person who stops and chats every time they see you,
If you hear the complaint of someone not wanting to do something alone,
This person most likely has Quality Time as their primary language of appreciation .
Acts Of Service
If someone stops by to see if you need a hand with a project you have been working on,
If someone does a small task spontaneously for you,
If someone in front of you walking into a grocery store holds the door open,
If you hear someone complaining that no one ever helps them,
This person most likely has Acts of Service as their primary language of appreciation.
If someone is away on holidays and brings you a random souvenir,
If someone randomly grabs you the "perfect gift" just because
If someone grabs a coffee for you just because they were grabbing themselves one,
If someone complains about not being recognized for their job well done with a certification,
This person maybe have Gifts as their primary language of appreciation.
Touch (This is different in the workplace folks, no creepy)
If someone throws a hand up for high-fives, or fist bumps
If someone is always offering hugs every time they see you,
If someone gives you the warmest smile, eye contact and a handshake,
If you hear someone say they won't shake hands,
This persons primary language of appreciation most likely is Touch.
Honestly this only touches the surface of this amazing method of showing others appreciation.
There are many reasons to learn this, if anything it is to influence those around you in the most positive way.
It means being a people watcher.
It means being a good listener.
It means paying attention.
It means acting on your ability to create the environment you want.
Learning these tools helped me understand my co-workers and I also was able to connect to management in a completely different respectful way to truly grow with the right method.
If this is something you want to learn more on, implement and grow with, and perfect, then what are you wanting for?
Connect today and make a difference.
Tell me in the comments below how you like to feel appreciated.