Help people think better - Don't tell them what to do.
~ David Rock
I recently read a book that exploded my thinking cap.
It's a must share.
Well that is what happened to me with the book Quiet Leader by David Rock.
Let me start by saying... I hate being told what to do.
I actually get into a pissy pant party if I get told what to do.
Just ask my parents, it started at a young age.
The tag on this book... Help people think better - Don't tell them what to do, made me jump for joy!
Unless a runaway bus is coming down the road directly toward me and I am on the crosswalk, then hell yes tell me to MOVE!
But there is a larger picture.
I notice how everyone is googlfied! (My new word)
What is googlfied?
My definition: a problem, idea or question comes to someones mind, and someone will google it to find the answer instead of staying within their creative thinking to come up with something new or find they had the answers all along.
Also known as a quick fix.
Now this is not a bad thing if you are in a crunch time situation or need answers now!
If you are going to loose big time at music trivia when that name of that band just will not pop into your mind, but people have become reliant on it.
What about a team in the workplace?
How many times are you getting asked questions to a problem and you just spew the answer?
Then you find yourself being bombarded with problems from your employees more and more and more.
Hell, sometimes it is the same questions over and over again.
Now you are wondering how hell kind your team has changed so much.
Reality it, you have taught them how to treat you.
Start asking questions!
As a coach, I can tell my clients what they want to hear all day long.
But, my goal is to help them think for a change, so re-framing their mindset is the power to having each client come up with their own solutions for today, tomorrow and the future.
Here are 6 questions that will take a person from problem focused to solution based thinking...
1: What do you need to do to move forward?
Most leaders will ask "Where did it all start to go wrong?"
2: What do you want to achieve here?
Instead of asking "Why did this happen?"
3: What do you want to next?
Not "Why did you do that?"
4: How can you develop strengths in this area?
Never "Why do you think your not good at this?"
5: What do we need to do to make this work?
Try not to ask "Why isn't this working?"
6: What do we need to do next time to hit your targets?
Rather than "Why didn't you hit your targets?"
Can you see the shift from problem focused to solution based thinking?
Let's face it, you as a human know how you are quick to beat your own ass up on problems that may come up, so when someone else point out the problem, it enhances the diminishing confidence.
Can you see a common word used with the problem focused questions?
It is the word that will start someone into defense mode every time.
Why were you thinking....
Why were you doing...
Why did you do...
You get the idea.
Even if it is a genuine intent to help, you will get a defensive individual on the other side.
2 Day Challenge
I have a challenge for you, if you are serious in thinking for a change.
Really focus on the way you speak to someone when they deliver a problem to you.
Challenge #1 - Day 1
Pay attention when a problem is brought to you.
Listen to yourself think.
Listen to yourself speak.
Are you a problem solver and give the answers right away?
Are you asking questions to help others learn? (Notice and record what questions you are asking.)
Challenge #2 - Day 2
Pay attention to the shift when a problem is brought to you.
Ask the solution based questions.
Listen to the other person speak through the solutions with support. (Notice and record the differences you see.)
Let me know how you make out here.
There are solutions hiding within everyone.
We have to stop hiding behind a quick fix of google or asking others for the answers.
Finding our own answers gives the power behind feeling amazing inside which pushes us further than we would ever expect.
We all have the power to empower ourselves and others.
Let's go make a difference!
If you want to discuss more about solution based thinking then lets set up a time to connect.