'When you assume, you make an ass out of you and me'.

- unknown

Obviously, no one will turn into a donkey with assumptions, but definitely have the likely hood of being or looking like a jack-ass.

If you have been following me for sometime, you know I believe there is always 3 Sides to Every Story, not 2. 

Past experiences can create assumptions on the fly. 

If a doctor has a patient come in to his office to check on a large spot that is darkening on the patients skin. 

The GP will ask a series of questions trying to eliminate what he already assumed. 

When the spot appeared, if it is painful, if it is itchy etc. 

The doctor might order a series of tests or send the patient as a referral to a specialist. 

In your head, you are already thinking skin cancer and the specialist is a dermatologist. 

Why, because we see the cancer symptoms loads in media and it so very much in our world that it is becomes easy to assume. 

Yet, that darkening spot could be as simple as age spots, liv...

"Our minds influence the key activity of the brain, which then influences everything; perception, cognition, thoughts and feelings, personal relationships; they're all a projection of you."

Deepak Chopra

Have you ever been at a social gathering with that one person who seems to be able to have everyone flocks to and admires? 

You wonder to yourself, what the hell is she doing that makes her so desirable?


Nothing less, nothing more. 

Not everyone is born with the gift of influence.

Yes it can come naturally to some. 

And others... well they just try and try and try...

Which ends up looking like an ass kisser. 

It can be learned! 

So what is the magic?

What makes someone who naturally attracts people a great influence?

3 strategies... yes, you can start with 3! 

But first, 

I want to make something VERY clear before we carry on. 

Influencing others is NOT the same as MANIPULATION! 

There is a HUGE difference between influence and manipulation. 

When I was teaching one of m...

There is an easy distinction between loving someone else and loving ourselves. 

The hard truth is, one is easier than the other to achieve. 

I bet not one person reading this decided loving ourselves was easier. 

Why is loving ourselves so hard? 

Self- love definition: regard for one's own well-being and happiness. 

Sounds pretty simple... look after your well-being, and be happy. 

But for most, it is the hardest thing to achieve.

We look for happiness everywhere!

In a mate!

In things!

In achievements!

Very rarely do we look inside! 

That inside is ourselves! 

And the key to unlock it all. 

Day in and day out there are traps put out daily to challenge our thinking, our emotions, and even our beliefs to what is real or not. 

You spill coffee on your last clean shirt! (Frustration) 

We head into a traffic jam and end up late for work. (Stress)

At work, a co-worker walked past you and glares without saying a word. (Concerned)

Realizing you forgot your lunch with too much work to do to...

Everyone has an their own ideas on how they would handle that spoiled rotten kid who runs their parents' lives in a negative way. 

But we have no idea how to manage our employees who have tantrums when they don't get their way, are mean as hell to others or just takeover the workplace in a negative way. 

How's this working for you?

I am going to go out on a limb, that might not be as sturdy as I would like, but I am sure a negative work environment was created by how we have allowed employees to act, work and engage with everyone around. 

So let's get one thing straight, I am not speaking about all workplaces. 

There are some amazing cultures throughout the world who have mastered workplace appreciation, as well as the climate control of the environment in a whole.

When a new employee starts a job, they are excited to be part of a team.

They are proud of the accomplishment of  landing the position of their choice. 

But somewhere from that first day to the present day,...

Let's face it, sometimes life is just a whirlwind. 

I can't take the time to smell the roses because I didn't have time to fricken plant the damn rose garden! 

Life if going to happen all around us everyday, whether we like it or not.

That is the perfect guarantee in life. 

What is not the guarantee is how much of that will effect us... 

or is it? 

Something may happen around us, but our thinking of beliefs, emotions and actions are the reason for our results in life. 

You must give yourself the responsibility to make time for your thinking if you want to stay in the game.  

Yes! You have to make time to think! 

But only if it is thinking for a change! 

Not thinking to dwell! 

Understanding the power of your thinking will create the results you want in any area of your life. 

You might be saying, that's fine and dandy miss smiles, but I have too much on my plate to even think about thinking. 

Well all I have to say to that is... 

How's that working for ya?

Everyday, people make ex...

 Do you journal?

If you do, then you know the power behind it. 

If you don't...

All the emotions in your world get stuck in your mind, body and soul. 

I believe it is the most powerful of all releases to understanding yourself. 

In my world, it is the way I keep my head from spinning out of control. 

Journaling is one of the most powerful tools that I could offer you.


Because when you release your thoughts to paper.

You release your truths to a visual.

What was maybe stuck in thought can be seen and dealt with.  

When a question is asked to you first, you would likely ponder or linger on that thought of what was asked.

Second guessing your thinking and changing the thought to mostly what you think others want to hear or even worse, what you want to hear.

It is important for you to have a journal that you love to look at and to hold.

It certainly does not have to be expensive by any means, but you must feel good when you are using it.

I purchased a book before that was purple and pink poke-a-dots...

Have you ever moved from one house to another and found yourself driving to your old house after a long day at work?

This has happened to the best of us.

We do this if we change the kitchen cupboards around. 

We do this if we change departments or offices at work. 

Force of habit?

Yes, but here is why... 

Our brains from a very young age are programmed by absolutely everything we do in life. 

We are born a clean slate.

We have the innocent brain just waiting to soak up the information given to us. 

The first time we see a spider... we reach out to explore, mom screams with horror. 

Our brain registers spiders as the scariest thing in our lives at that moment... until the snake appears as we crawl on the grass by the garden, then that becomes the scariest. 

Our experiences compound in our brains forming patterns which create our subconscious mind. 

Moving through life seeing spiders and screaming as if the spider has the largest knife, like Crocodile Dundee, keeping us stuck in fear of a memory tha...

Every single thing we do in our life comes with our own personal payoffs. 

Do you know what that is?

Have you ever thought of it?

Well, in 2005, I was kicking back watching one of Dr. Phil's crazy episodes. I honestly have no idea what it was on.

What I do remember, was a defining moment to a simple question.

I can probably assume it was an episode on a crazy couple who can't seem to get along and wondering if it was time to leave. 

When Dr. Phil asked the wife, "What is your payoff for your behavior?"

It not only stopped the girl to really truly think what she was getting in return to behave the way she was, it changed me instantly. 

Lets look at a couple scenarios: 

1. You are having an argument with your boss. You are right pissed off for the way he spoke to you in front of everyone. 

You start telling everyone what happened, from your perspective. Anyone who listens is getting pelted with the story. You continue to tell the co-workers not even in your department.

What is your Payoff?

A. Y...

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